Before I talk about Day 2, I have some more things to say about Day 1!
After I wrote yesterday's blog post, I went out for pints with the other two artists here this week. The first is a young composer named Yoni, who is one of the most interesting people I've ever met. He grew up in Jerusalem and Montreal, but has lived in India and New York and is especially well travelled for his age. He speaks Hebrew, Russian, English, and French (and maybe a bit of Romanian and Albanian, if memory serves?). When he said he was from Jerusalem rather than Israel, I immediately picked up on the tension - I do something similar when I am anticipating a certain reaction to where I'm from. I kind of ... bend the location a little. So in other words, I didn't write him off or confront him when I learned he was from Israel. I knew from the second I met him that he was a nice person, and it would have taken a lot for me to think otherwise. ANYHOO - let's just say he mentioned having a Palestinian friend and after two days I am unwavering in my conviction that he's someone who will make the world a better place.
The other artist is Mary, an artist from Seattle, Washington. The projects she was talking about sounded super impressive and also extremely cool and interesting. Right away, from the second she introduced herself to me, I felt like I knew her. She's 64 but honestly I was kind of shocked because she has an extremely youthful affect. And she is so beautifully open and curious. You know how sometimes people get to a certain age and they act like people younger than them don't have anything interesting to say? Well Mary had lots of questions for me and Yoni, and then shared her insights, and the conversation just flowed in a lovely trajectory.
But here's what I wanted to tell you about. So we were talking about the US -- I haven't been there for over three years, so when I talk to someone who lives there I usually have a lot of questions. Yoni was saying that apart from a visit to New York, he hadn't been to the rest of the US except for a wedding in Florida. I was just about to launch into a speech about how much I hate Florida, when I asked him what part of Florida the wedding was. He said it was on the coast, south of Orlando. "Melbourne?" he said, "On the beach..."
"Melbourne Beach??" I asked. He said yes, the wedding was in Melbourne Beach. That's where my grandparents lived for like 25 years. Then, he said, "But I actually stayed in a nearby town - I think it was called Palm Bay." I was absolutely stunned. Palm Bay is the town where my father was living when he died. And his death in Palm Bay was what I came here to write about. What are the odds that I'd meet a guy from Jerusalem in Ireland who had been to Palm Bay and Melbourne Beach? There's even a whole section of my book where I talk about going to Melbourne Beach with my siblings. What the heck!!
So I had an absolutely blissful night's sleep on the amazing bed with this amazing pillow and this amazingly quiet room. Honestly the entire trip was nearly worth the one night of sleep that I got, it was that good. I fixed myself some breakfast, had a bit of a chat with Mary, and sat down to work. I made some decent headway, until I hit about 10,000 words and decided it would be a good time to go for a run. Laced up, I headed to these wood trails around the corner. It took a little figuring out, and I still didn't do the route that I planned, but holy smokes. First of all, I left my phone in the house. I wanted to be really present. It was amazing. The woods have some of the most gorgeous trees I've ever seen and rhododendron trees, which I did not know could even grow that high. Some of them were over two storeys tall. And the smell of dirt! It reminded me of New Hampshire and the many, many hours I spent in the woods around our house, just exploring. And I didn't do too bad with the running, either - there were some long stretches of uphill terrain, but I just did what I could do and walked when I felt like it. But mostly I ran the whole way! As I was running, I ran some things about the day's writing over in my head. I let my mind go wherever I wanted it to.
And I also decided that this week is, hands down, the greatest gift I have ever given myself. And the best part is that I can totally do it again, as many times as I want!
Running feels life affirming in the most literal way. And it's something I wrote about in this book, but I want to expand on it a bit when I get to that part. Running is not something I particularly excel at, but it is something that I always go back to, again and again, when I want to feel happiness. It's a form of meditation for me. I don't care if I can't run the longest or the fastest. I just like to run and feel my body living and working while I can. Running definitely kept me sane when my father was sick and afterwards.
When I came back from my run, I made a little cheese and tomato sandwich, took a shower, and sat down to work for another two and a half hours. So far, I have nearly 13,000 words of my draft finished. The panic of whether I will accomplish my goals is starting to dissipate. I feel confident that if the next three and a half days go as well as the last day and a half have gone, I will leave here with a full first draft of my book. I don't know whether anyone else will think it's any good, but if I'm happy with how it comes out, it won't really matter. At my age, dreams of being some famous writer fell away a long time ago.
I went to dinner tonight with Mary and Yoni -- the restaurant next door closed early because of the bank holiday, so we went to a Chinese place. Chinese places are kind of a crap shoot in Ireland. Mary was gutsy and ordered squid. Yoni and I got vegetarian dishes. I was slightly amazed that we all enjoyed our food. All three of us were glowing from the buzz of productive days. I'm happy. I'm just so happy. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that happiness is possible and one day you'll feel true joy. I wish I could go back in time and tell my grieving self that no, you won't always feel suffocated with sadness and loss. But they're two sides of a coin, aren't they? And you can't have a rich life without those coins. xoxo
After I wrote yesterday's blog post, I went out for pints with the other two artists here this week. The first is a young composer named Yoni, who is one of the most interesting people I've ever met. He grew up in Jerusalem and Montreal, but has lived in India and New York and is especially well travelled for his age. He speaks Hebrew, Russian, English, and French (and maybe a bit of Romanian and Albanian, if memory serves?). When he said he was from Jerusalem rather than Israel, I immediately picked up on the tension - I do something similar when I am anticipating a certain reaction to where I'm from. I kind of ... bend the location a little. So in other words, I didn't write him off or confront him when I learned he was from Israel. I knew from the second I met him that he was a nice person, and it would have taken a lot for me to think otherwise. ANYHOO - let's just say he mentioned having a Palestinian friend and after two days I am unwavering in my conviction that he's someone who will make the world a better place.
The other artist is Mary, an artist from Seattle, Washington. The projects she was talking about sounded super impressive and also extremely cool and interesting. Right away, from the second she introduced herself to me, I felt like I knew her. She's 64 but honestly I was kind of shocked because she has an extremely youthful affect. And she is so beautifully open and curious. You know how sometimes people get to a certain age and they act like people younger than them don't have anything interesting to say? Well Mary had lots of questions for me and Yoni, and then shared her insights, and the conversation just flowed in a lovely trajectory.
But here's what I wanted to tell you about. So we were talking about the US -- I haven't been there for over three years, so when I talk to someone who lives there I usually have a lot of questions. Yoni was saying that apart from a visit to New York, he hadn't been to the rest of the US except for a wedding in Florida. I was just about to launch into a speech about how much I hate Florida, when I asked him what part of Florida the wedding was. He said it was on the coast, south of Orlando. "Melbourne?" he said, "On the beach..."
"Melbourne Beach??" I asked. He said yes, the wedding was in Melbourne Beach. That's where my grandparents lived for like 25 years. Then, he said, "But I actually stayed in a nearby town - I think it was called Palm Bay." I was absolutely stunned. Palm Bay is the town where my father was living when he died. And his death in Palm Bay was what I came here to write about. What are the odds that I'd meet a guy from Jerusalem in Ireland who had been to Palm Bay and Melbourne Beach? There's even a whole section of my book where I talk about going to Melbourne Beach with my siblings. What the heck!!
So I had an absolutely blissful night's sleep on the amazing bed with this amazing pillow and this amazingly quiet room. Honestly the entire trip was nearly worth the one night of sleep that I got, it was that good. I fixed myself some breakfast, had a bit of a chat with Mary, and sat down to work. I made some decent headway, until I hit about 10,000 words and decided it would be a good time to go for a run. Laced up, I headed to these wood trails around the corner. It took a little figuring out, and I still didn't do the route that I planned, but holy smokes. First of all, I left my phone in the house. I wanted to be really present. It was amazing. The woods have some of the most gorgeous trees I've ever seen and rhododendron trees, which I did not know could even grow that high. Some of them were over two storeys tall. And the smell of dirt! It reminded me of New Hampshire and the many, many hours I spent in the woods around our house, just exploring. And I didn't do too bad with the running, either - there were some long stretches of uphill terrain, but I just did what I could do and walked when I felt like it. But mostly I ran the whole way! As I was running, I ran some things about the day's writing over in my head. I let my mind go wherever I wanted it to.
And I also decided that this week is, hands down, the greatest gift I have ever given myself. And the best part is that I can totally do it again, as many times as I want!
Running feels life affirming in the most literal way. And it's something I wrote about in this book, but I want to expand on it a bit when I get to that part. Running is not something I particularly excel at, but it is something that I always go back to, again and again, when I want to feel happiness. It's a form of meditation for me. I don't care if I can't run the longest or the fastest. I just like to run and feel my body living and working while I can. Running definitely kept me sane when my father was sick and afterwards.
When I came back from my run, I made a little cheese and tomato sandwich, took a shower, and sat down to work for another two and a half hours. So far, I have nearly 13,000 words of my draft finished. The panic of whether I will accomplish my goals is starting to dissipate. I feel confident that if the next three and a half days go as well as the last day and a half have gone, I will leave here with a full first draft of my book. I don't know whether anyone else will think it's any good, but if I'm happy with how it comes out, it won't really matter. At my age, dreams of being some famous writer fell away a long time ago.
I went to dinner tonight with Mary and Yoni -- the restaurant next door closed early because of the bank holiday, so we went to a Chinese place. Chinese places are kind of a crap shoot in Ireland. Mary was gutsy and ordered squid. Yoni and I got vegetarian dishes. I was slightly amazed that we all enjoyed our food. All three of us were glowing from the buzz of productive days. I'm happy. I'm just so happy. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that happiness is possible and one day you'll feel true joy. I wish I could go back in time and tell my grieving self that no, you won't always feel suffocated with sadness and loss. But they're two sides of a coin, aren't they? And you can't have a rich life without those coins. xoxo
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