Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Let's talk about farts.

When I first got to Ireland, the first couple of pubs I walked into, my first thought was, "Yeesh! Yikes! It kinda smells like farts in here!" I thought it was a coincidence, like maybe it just happened that the few places I went into happened to have plumbing problems.

However, now that I've been here over three months, I can say, *WITH CONFIDENCE* that Ireland has a farting issue. It's not the plumbing. People let their business out here all over the place. In the pub, as the night progresses, it just gets stronger. And it's not just the pubs. Today in the movie theater, before the movie started, you could hear someone farting. And then by the time the film was over, you could smell the smell of gas so strong, we couldn't wait to get the hell out of there

PEOPLE IN IRELAND LOVE TO FART. There, I've said it.

5 comments:

  1. Okay - first the effed up politics and now the farts. You really need to stop giving me reasons why Irland is a PERFECT place for Rob to live. ;-)

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  2. As a person who spends alot of time in both the US and Ireland. The reason it seems Irish people fart more as you nicely put it is due to the lack of Air con in Bars and Cinemas and anywhere inside that the general public frequent. I have been in many bars in the all parts of the US and Air Con even takes out the strong cloud of smoke that Ireland experienced pre smoking ban. Its naive to think that American bars dont have the same farting customers on a Friday or Saturday night :) Air Con works wonders. Was in a NY bar there recently that had no Air Con and it was a trendy place and smelled of farts. So I guess its on both sides of the pond.

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  4. get outta here, im irish and you are fighting a losing battle to deny the excess farts in ireland, especially if you take the boorishness of irish men compared with those in the liberal states of the us

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  5. Oh, the farting. I've noticed it, too.
    My first encounter with the farts was in the residents bar of a hotel in Kerry. I walked in & had to leave immediately. But is it any wonder, I mean really?

    Lets look at the diets of the Irish. Especially when they're staying in B&B. Irish breakfast with its eggs, beans & 3 assorted greasy meats. Drag that throughout the day & add on a plethora of carvery lunches, chips, over boiled vegetables, all that Irish dairy... Now add some Guinness, Beamish, or Murphy's. Ok, just any alcohol & it's ability to weaken ones inhibition + stomach muscles? Look Out! Ireland is fart land city.

    As if the pubs & farting isn't bad enough, there's a normal Irish work day on a Friday. Many people out the night before & letting their intestines free in the bathroom. Ugh. I had such a hard time with Fridays & when I had to work Saturdays it was way worse. Ireland isn't just a farters paradise, my dear, it's a poopers paradise. Unlike the American public bathrooms, the doors come down further (sometimes a full door), adding more anonymity for a person to poop in public. With all that anonymity in the bathroom, you'd think their intestines would be clean enough to not air the farts, alas, this doesn't work. They're still farting.

    Given the state of the bathroom doors, I've wondered if anyone at all has problems with colon cancer, or even constipation. I wonder what the stats are. I've often thought that they should market this with the tourism board. "IBS? Come to Ireland & set yourself free!"

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